W is for Watch Out
by Jelsemium
Summary: Don Eppes is going to be late. Or is that, Don Eppes is going to be the Late Don Eppes? This is anti-angst!


W is for Watch Out

Originally for the 2007 Alphabet Fiction Challenge at K 

Disclaimer: The characters are so not mine

Warning: Compute Responsibility, Don't Drink and Read

Don Eppes lay still, eyes closed, face pale and composed. His graceful hands were crossed over his chest. Their stillness looked odd as they were usually in motion... working, fidgeting or gesturing. (The Eppes clan tended to talk with their hands.)

Nearby, a cluster of three FBI agents dressed in dark suits murmured among themselves.

"He looks so peaceful," Special Agent Colby Granger said. "Like he could just be sleeping."

Special Agent David Sinclair turned slightly, reached out his hand and smacked Colby on the shoulder. "He is sleeping, you moron," he snapped.

Special Agent Megan Reeves glared as Colby attempted to smother his laughter. "Hush, already," she snapped.

"I'm sorry," Colby said.

"No, you're not," David said.

"Okay, I'm not, but geez, guys, you're acting as if you were at a funeral!" Colby rubbed his upper lip with a knuckle in an attempt to stifle the sound of his amusement.

"Well, Alan made it clear that if Don is late to his great-aunt's party, there WILL be a funeral," David pointed out.

"On the other hand, if we wake Don up, there could be several funerals," Megan said. She drew her thumb across her throat to indicate which three special agents would be needing the funerals.

Colby's shoulders were shaking, but at least he was not laughing out loud.

Megan elbowed him in the side. "What?" she demanded.

"When, exactly, did we become responsible for Don's interactions with his relatives?" Colby asked.

Megan and David exchanged thoughtful looks.

"I estimate it was somewhere between the homemade garlic cheese potatoes and the medium-rare rib-eye," David mused.

Megan shook her head. "David, you are such a pushover!" she said.

David made a skeptical face, pointed at himself and mouthed the word "Me?"

"Yeah, you" Megan said. "I at least held out until the lava cake and homemade vanilla bean ice cream!"

Colby snorted.

Both his co-workers rounded on him.

"What are you laughing at?" David challenged. "Alan had _you_ with the cocktail weenies!"

Megan smirked.

"So, what time is this party?" Colby asked.

Automatically, both Megan and David checked their watches as if the answer would appear there.

"The party starts at eight," David said. "But the actual dinner starts at eight-thirty."

"I'd die of starvation by then," Colby said.

"Hence the attraction of the cocktail weenies," David muttered.

They went back to contemplating their boss, who had his feet on his desk and his head resting on a pile of papers on the desk behind him.

"It's almost six now," Megan mused. "We could let him alone for half an hour and hope he wakes up on his own. That would give him two hours to get home, shower, change and still get to the party on time."

"Assuming there are no serious traffic snarls," David pointed out.

Megan rubbed her neck. "Which is something that you really can't assume out here, can you?" she said.

Colby looked around. "You can't see a wall clock from this angle," he said.

Megan and David frowned and looked around.

Colby moved around Don's desk so he could look at Don's computer screen. The blond agent checked his watch, and began clicking around with the mouse.

"What are you doing, Granger?" Megan asked. "Pulling up Yahoo maps?"

Colby shook his head. Then, very carefully, he pulled up Don's left sleeve and, grasping his boss's wrist in his left hand, pulled out the stem of Don's watch.

David and Megan gaped for the few moments that it took for Colby to complete his nefarious plan.

"What did you just…??" Megan gasped.

Before she could finish, Colby reached out and shook Don's shoulder. "Hey, boss!" he said.

"Wha?" Don muttered. He sat up and ran his right hand through his hair. He glanced at his watch.

"I thought you had to be somewhere at eight-thirty?" Colby said just as the numbers on the watch face impinged on Don's consciousness.

He looked from his watch to the small clock at the bottom of his screen.

"It's nine-thirty?? Dad is going to kill me," Don moaned. He looked at his team with frustration. "You couldn't have woke me up sooner?"

Megan and David, caught in Colby's web of deceit, could only gape.

Without thinking, Megan blurted out, "We thought that you had already left!" thus turning David and herself into accomplices-after-the-fact.

"Um, yeah," David said, cementing their culpability. "It was so quiet over here…"

"Oh, great," Don said. "If I'm alive tomorrow, I'll see you…" He started down the aisle to the elevators at a fast clip, whipping out his cell phone as he did.

Then he froze. His cell, like all good cell phones, had the time prominently displayed. Don looked at his cell. Then he looked at his team.

He stepped a few paces down the aisle so he could look at a wall clock. Then he looked back at his team.

They had escaped by then.

Don shook his head. "Funny, guys, but I know where you work."


End file.
